K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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