ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize