You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
