Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
