She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
