I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
