Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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