I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
