If i come over, it means nothing
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
