Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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