You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
