it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
