I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
