Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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