i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
