You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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