No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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