marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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