you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
