Define "chronic" masturbator.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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