You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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