Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
