Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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