There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
two words...techno handjob
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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