We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
