I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
