Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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