I'm drive I can fine osifer
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
They took my balls.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
