Screwed.edu
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
