i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
