whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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