the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
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