A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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