He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
