Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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