Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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