My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
