State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
