the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
