Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize