i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
