I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
