Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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