So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
