I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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