Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
