i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize