If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
