with your own penis?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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