the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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