I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize