I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
