I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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