In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
false alarm, still single
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
