after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
