I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
