haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
